Dirty World News

I was going through my Gmail archives this afternoon, and I came across this old spam I received awhile back. After all this time, the closing to the email still makes me chuckle:

From: Ben Bergeron
Date: February 16, 2006 2:20:25 PM PST
To: XXXX@XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Subject: demitting message from Ben Bergeron
Reply-To: Ben Bergeron

Hi, Dear

I am a widower, and generally disappointed with new attempts at
relationships with women.
Being a total heterosexual, I have searched and tried many different
artificial vaginas.
Of course, the hand is great, but it is an entirely different feeling
than vaginal sex.
All the cheap and fake rubber and plastic artificial vaginas that I
have ever tried have found their way into the garbage can.
The first time I used it was a learning experience, but when I had
more time I used it twice today to an almost indescribable effect.
This device demands time to enjoy properly.
The control over orgasm is not so easy, but I can assure you will
leave so satisfied that you just might go to sleep afterwards.
This product is the real deal and worth every penny.

Bitch you make me hurl.
Your Ben

I just did a Google search for the phrase, and it appears as if the line comes from an Eminem song. It's still funny, though I am disappointed that my Ben Bergeron isn't quite as creative as I had been hoping these past 18 months.