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"We'll fight them in the kitchen, we'll fight them in the restaurant, we'll fight them on the dining room table..."
A short animation from Tourist Pictures, Food Fight is "an abridged history of war, from World War II to present day, told through the foods of the countries in conflict."
I just turned down a cash reward for returning a lost Blackberry that I found at a gas station the other night. The owner of the Blackberry thrusted a rolled up bill toward me from behind the wheel of her Cadillac Escalade and declared that "this is probably the best thing that's going to happen to you today." I politely declined.
What she didn't realize is that the value of everyone realizing how selflessly awesome I am after telling them about this vastly outweighs the monetary value of the cash.
Just when you lose your faith in humanity, someone goes and does something that makes you entirely rethink your pessimism about the brotherhood of mankind. That's right...someone turned my lost BluBlockers into the Lost & Found at MTV. Huzzah!
Taking BluBlocker photographs is one of my dorkier hobbies, right up there with shortwave radio and quizzing co-workers on Saved by the Bell trivia. Now if only someone would invent an actual BluBlocker lens (or better yet, include it as an automatic setting on digital cameras), I wouldn't have to do it myself (essentially sticking one of the frames from the glasses in front of the lens).
What do you do with 400 free bags of Cheetos? Dump them into the office of an unsuspecting co-worker while he's out at lunch, of course.
At 9 ounces per bag, that's approximately 75,000 Cheetos!
I taped this appearance on The Maury Show at the end of December, but it didn't air until this past Monday because (as one of the producers told me) "we're saving it for sweeps." And I got a voicemail today saying that the ratings were "huge." Which was really exciting, until I remembered that it's probably just because Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco were also on the program.
Sadly, this could very well be the highlight of my professional career.
*hangs head in shame*
My name is Doug Hammond, and I love chocolate hamburgers and ice cream.
