I was speaking with my co-worker Meredith today about my Twitter usage and SMS messaging in general, and I mentioned to her that I don't really text all that much. Though the technology is useful and relatively cheap, my cell phone has the tiniest of keypads and it's simply easier to wait until I'm in front of a real keyboard if there's something that needs to be typed.

The conversation turned toward the popularity of texting among teens and, at one point, I actually said that "these kids today love texting to each other among their circle of friends."

And it was at that exact moment that I realized (perhaps with a bit of disgust) that I'm old. Maybe not old old, but certainly sounding a bit too much like a soulless marketing consultant and fully formed adult instead of the man-child I've been masquerading as for the past decade.

So I think I'm going to leave work early today. I'll be crying myself to sleep under the electric blanket if you need me, so I'd appreciate it if you could please turn off your fancy ringtones.

And get the hell off my lawn.

I've spent the past half hour playing around with an old 16mm Bolex camera that my brother Tom gave to me last year as a gift and, thanks to the enormously resourceful Bolex Collector website, I've tracked down the serial number (#58725) and identified the model as a 1950 model H-16 Deluxe.

Actually, that should be "I think I've identified the model." According to vintage camera buff Michael Tisdale, it's incredibly difficult to differentiate between the H-16 Leader, Standard and Deluxe models:

These terms were only used to differentiate between models that included different styles of viewfinder accessories. These viewfinders could be purchased or installed later; a fact which, today, makes it nearly impossible to identify early H cameras as Leader, Standard or Deluxe.

Though I used a Bolex in one of my college film classes about a dozen years ago, I haven't actually shot anything with this one. As much fun as that might be, it's just too damn expensive to shoot 16mm these days. But I do enjoy playing around with it, if only as a reminder to dig out the rest of my vintage film cameras and identify them as well.

A short animation from Tourist Pictures, Food Fight is "an abridged history of war, from World War II to present day, told through the foods of the countries in conflict."

I just turned down a cash reward for returning a lost Blackberry that I found at a gas station the other night. The owner of the Blackberry thrusted a rolled up bill toward me from behind the wheel of her Cadillac Escalade and declared that "this is probably the best thing that's going to happen to you today." I politely declined.

What she didn't realize is that the value of everyone realizing how selflessly awesome I am after telling them about this vastly outweighs the monetary value of the cash.

Taking BluBlocker photographs is one of my dorkier hobbies, right up there with shortwave radio and quizzing co-workers on Saved by the Bell trivia. Now if only someone would invent an actual BluBlocker lens (or better yet, include it as an automatic setting on digital cameras), I wouldn't have to do it myself (essentially sticking one of the frames from the glasses in front of the lens).

Sadly, this could very well be the highlight of my professional career.

*hangs head in shame*

Yo was tuckin' in his shirt!
Yo threw a thumbtack at me.
Yo been runnin' the halls.
Yo put his foot up.
Yo wearin' a jacket. A coat!
You acting like I said what yo said.
She ain't really go with yo.
Yo look like a sack ass gump.
Yo is a clown.
Yo sucks at magic tricks.
Yo needs to pull his pants down.
Yo looks like a freak.
Yo is a straight clown.
Yo goin to put that chicken in his mouth.
Yo, looka that dude pants. Yo is a clown.

I seem to recall hearing instances of this well before 2004, but I haven't lived in Baltimore in a decade so I could be wrong.

Gilligan’s Island is usually dismissed as low-brow camp by most cultural warriors. Little do they know that this 60’s TV show was one of the first salvos fired in the Culture Wars by the gay left.

I knew it.

What's this? A Marylander excusing Robert Irsay for moving the Colts out of Baltimore? It can't be. The sun didn't rise in the West this morning. Hell didn't freeze over. And I didn't win the lottery.

This exhaustive piece from Indianapolis Colts fan Mike Devitt about the history of football in Baltimore and the Colts' untimely departure from the city is long (and slightly painful), but worth it.

(Irsay still sucks)

The "to be continued..." at the end is exciting. And they mail order!

[via]

A legal examination of the creative circumvention of Miranda rights in Baltimore as presented by David Simon in Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets.

How many of these do you remember?

(You can watch the commercials individually by clicking on the Playlist button in the Menu.)